Deep sigh .

March .

Month , that make my waiting come to the end .

What happen in march ?

My SPM Result came out .

It really make me depressed . Can i make my parents happy ? Can i make them proud of me ? Or I make them fake their smile , keep their emotion deep in their heart , just not to make me depressed .  Can i really go to univerisity and become the succesful person ?  Can i ?

People always said ' Alaa atiee , result kau akan okay nya . Kau budak pandai . Aku tak tolong doa untuk kau pun , result kau dah okay ' Hmm *sigh . Really ? I dont think so . For me , what i done not enough , maybe never enough for me . I still can do better than that . But , its too late right ?

Im not ready , to take the result . I afraid of people high expactations . Im afraid i will make people disspointed , it very heart break for me . Mom and dad , teachers , friends . You knoww , the people that always gave their kindess to me . Do i really can make them proud ?

Hmm .

Most at all , im afraid of myself . Do i achieve something that im looking for ? Do i make myself proud ? Do i  try my best ? Do i ? Hmm *sigh

Yeah , i always think too much and put myself in bad mood .

Im sorry ,  if i not make you proud .

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